Fight or Flight? Self-Defense VS. Martial Arts and Hard Lessons for the human male...
"To subdue an enemy without fighting is the highest skill"
--Sun Tzu
Flight is better than fight. Surprising words that you will very often hear from veteran street fighters and those who have been personally involved in several acts of violence is PREVENT, AVOID, RUN, GET AWAY, etc. Why? I mean, your martial art instructor is teaching you all sorts of ways to kill or subdue an attacker, using a plethora of techniques and martial combatives! Has your martial art instructor ever been in a real violent situation? I'm not talking about playground brawls and super bowl fist fights. I'm talking about COMBAT. Guns, knives, gangs, multiple attackers, etc. NO RULES. BLOODY VIOLENCE.
Here's the thing: Many martial art instructors will teach you the techniques but usually fail to teach the most important thing about self defense. Martial arts isn't self defense! Marc MacYoung knows violence and self defense like nobody else does. Here is a quote from a great article of his, followed by its respective link:
"A lie that is being promoted is that sport oriented martial arts training IS self-defense training. This lie has become so endemic it is accepted as the truth...until you end up bleeding because you discovered for yourself they AREN'T the same thing. Quite frankly, when it comes to the realities of staying safe in a modern urban environment, most martial arts suck--especially strip mall schools. You will be far better served understanding crime, home security, and avoiding high-risk behavior than being able to break a board with your big toe. And yet, we are constantly asked what sort of martial arts someone should take to learn about 'self defense...' Self defense is a much more complex issue than mere physical prowess. Common sense, lifestyle choices, certain habits and good manners will go much further to ensure your personal safety than ANY fighting style. This is despite what a fast talking MA school owner will tell you as he's trying to get you to sign the contract."
http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/AreMASD.htm
An excellent book, "The Little Black Book of Violence," is an invaluable resource for understanding violence. I will have quoted this book, along with Marc MacYoung's material several times in several articles in this website. The authors of this book note the following when discussing "Hollywood Fantasy VS. Brutal Reality:"
"In most instances, your 'deadly' ninja skills simply aren't real. Sparring in the dojo pales in comparison with the brutal realities of a street fight. Don't confuse sports with combat or misconstrue entertainment with reality."
If you have training in martial arts, that doesn't mean you have no competence for self defense. It means that you have some tools that you learned in one medium (the dojo). If you have experience on the street, as a victim of mugging, racially-motivated attacks, rape, date rape, gang rape, robbery, or just someone trying to kill you...then you UNDERSTAND VIOLENCE. It cannot be stressed enough that the street is not the dojo or the ring. They are very different worlds. You cannot expect to take somebody trained in one medium (the dojo) and expect him/her to be at equal with another medium (street violence).
If you read further into MacYoung's article, he does mention that martial art training has its value, saying that "ANY martial art style can be used for self defense...that is, if your idea of self defense is to block and extract yourself from danger. It's when you start trying to make them work for other goals that things begin to deteriorate."
He continues, "Do we recommend people have some kind of physical training? Well, it's not a bad idea. It's like having jumper cables, a spare tire and a jack in your car is a good idea. Hopefully you'll never need it, but just in case. But to get this training you don't have to sign up for a three year contract. You can get your training in short bouts and when combined with personal safety strategies it's often enough to keep you safe...When it comes to studying the martial arts we have a saying: People come to the martial arts for self-defense. They stay for many other reasons. If you're looking for some other things in your life, then maybe the martial arts are worth investigating. But we're not going to tell you that the martial arts are for everyone, because they aren't. But for those who get something from them, they are spectacular."
Before we get into the question of Fight or Flight and why it is such a difficult one, let's ask ourselves a big question:
Why "Applied" Martial Arts?
We believe that a balance can be achieved and we provide that balance. Our martial arts are APPLIED in that we incorporate not only high-percentage combat techniques but also, and most importantly, the necessary education of personal safety, combat psychology, how violence works, "common sense, [good] lifestyle choices, certain habits, and good manners."
If you are my student, and the only thing I will have ever done for you is teach you martial techniques...I will have failed miserably. I cannot, in good conscience, omit what is most important. Our course is not extremely long, but we teach the balance between martial arts and personal safety (self defense).
Having tools is not a bad thing AT ALL. We want to cover all bases. It takes longer to develop fine motor skills that convert into gross motor skills, balance, mobility, speed, and martial technique than it takes to simply learn "self defense." If you just want to learn self defense then you have incredible resources. I recommend four:
#1 www.nononsenseselfdefense.com (FREE!)
#2 "The Little Black Book of Violence" ($16-$28, depending on where you go)
#3 "Meditations on Violence" (similar to the above price)
#4 This website! If you are reading this article, you are beginning to learn about self defense without having been taught any moves, thus fulfilling Sun Tzu's quote (at the top of this article)
Keep in mind that whatever you spend in money for those books the authors have spent in blood for the life lessons. There are whackos out there, but these resources are extremely valuable (and credible), whether you train in a martial art style or not.
Okay, back to the original question: Fight or Flight? The answer is YES. The answer is not an equal distribution, however. I'd say about 10% "fight" and 90% "flight."
This is difficult, especially for young males who have EVERYTHING to prove and are set out to do several things in life, including establishing territory, reputation, social status, self esteem, saving face, finding a girl, looking good in front of that girl, impressing her, protecting her; and much more. These are natural tendencies, desires, and patterns. The Little Black Book of Violence provides us with this information:
"According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, men commit about 80 percent of all violent crimes in the United States, serious stuff like homicides, rapes, robberies, and assaults. Men are TWICE as likely as women to become victims of those same violent crimes, except for rape. Furthermore, males are more likely to be victimized by a stranger, whereas females are more likely to be victimized by a friend, acquaintance, or intimate...All the statistics confirm that younger people are far more inclined toward agressive behavior than older people are...Young males tend to have a long list of things to prove, whether they are conscious of them or not...Young men typically do not truly understand or fully appreciate the physical, psychological, and legal costs of violence."
One last quote from this book for this article:
"What is really worth fighting for when you might end up spending the rest of your life behind bars with a sociopathic roommate, dreading the moment you might accidentally drop the soap in the shower, confined to a wheelchair peeing through a catheter and sh*tting into a colostomy bag, or declaring bankruptcy under the crushing weight of a massive civil lawsuit?"
What it all comes down to is..."Is it worth fighting over?"
If you run across a high-risk situation, GET AWAY. If you have to walk by a group of people who harass you as you walk by on your way home...FIND ANOTHER WAY HOME. If one or two thugs with knives or guns come up to you and demand your wallet/purse, GIVE IT TO THEM! You get it?
Sometimes however, there is a point in a high-risk situation where there is no verbal reasoning, no amount of money in your wallet/purse, and NO WAY OUT other than violence. If they are drugged up, drunk, or otherwise crazy and want something that cannot be replaced (such as your life, your spouse, your child) YOU MUST FIGHT WITH 100% COMMITMENT. You must decide, long in advance, what you are willing to do in various different situations. Write them down. Think long and hard about them. Decide what you are realistically willing and unwilling to do in a violent situation, and meditate thereon. THIS is where the application of martial combatives comes in handy, like MacYoung said, like the jumper cables, jack, and spare for your car comes in handy when you need them.
Do not forget that, if you are brandishing a knife or a gun, you can easily escalate the situation...gravely. If you do carry around a knife or a gun, keep in mind that there are not only legal consequences to pulling one out in a high-risk situation, but also psychological and physical consequences. Do you know what it's like to kill someone, bludgeoning them to their death, stabbing them repeatedly? Do you know what it's like to have your own knife taken from you and used against you in the same way? Do you shake at the thought?
You see, these are things that you have to decide, in advance, exactly what you are willing (and unwilling) to do in any imaginable circumstance. Understanding your limitations and abilities takes care of half the battle because if you do not decide in advance what you would do in any given situation, then, in the heat of the moment, you may have to make a quick decision...and it would most likely be a poor one, because you have not previously thought it out.
I have a love/hate relationship with violence. I have been involved in violence, have seen violence, and have prevented violence. I am fascinated with it. I understand that it is very easy to fear it. I have seen many people fear it to the point of paranoia, letting it control their lives. That is the precise reason for which I have studied it and have done what I've done with my life (so far): dedicating it to the creation of its two antidotes: peace and itself (violence). In Ecclesiastes, we learn that there is "a time to kill, and a time to heal...a time of war, and a time of peace." I believe that there is a time and a place for violence, for the taking part of it, for the embracing of it in order to save lives and teach people how to go from victimization to empowerment through the understanding of it. You don't need to fear it. You do need to understand what you need to do in order to prevent it from happening to you and your family. I have given you some resources with which to start. Good luck!
Have a great week!
--Patrick
www.appliedmartialartstraining.com